"Talent is a universal gift, but it takes courage to use it."
Growing up, I used to be identified as a person who is the quiet one, does not speak as quickly as others, dreads loud public places or events, fears small talks and avoids being the center of attention. Clearly, I belong to the introvert sector of the society. Well-meaning friends and family members had been persistently encouraging me to come out of my shell, shake off my fears, and open up more. However, people who are on the same side as I was would understand that it could be demanding.
At a very young age, I already pretty had a good grasp of the things I am passionate about. I used to look forward to Sundays and watch my favorite noontime variety show. I have a list of soap operas I had watched from the first until the last episode. Some days, I would stand in front of a mirror and throw a dramatic line or two. Other times, I would turn on the karaoke, then sing for 1 to 2 hours straight. And I could still remember how I would form a mental image of myself singing and acting my heart out, just like the people I saw on screen.
In spite of my evident fascination, it had been hard for me to show it to the public. It used to take a lot before people could convince me to perform in front of a crowd. I can still vividly remember how I would cry to my mother each time she insisted that I perform in some events. At one point, my mother had agreed that I sing for a certain occasion without letting me know. I walked in to the venue, and the moment I knew that I was going to sing, I hid myself under the table as I begged like it was a matter of life and death!
The same avoidance went on for years. The rare times I had said yes for a request to render a presentation were when I had to do it in school as part of our extra-curricular activities. And every time I did, I could feel my knees tremble, voice become shaky--all these had contributed to countless failed performances , which added up to my lack of confidence.
Then came the College phase, which offered not just a new environment, but also an ocean of new beginnings and possibilities. One day, I passed by an audition poster, enticing students to showcase their acting skills, and get a role for a major theater production by the University. For the very first time, I voluntarily went to audition myself, and luckily landed the lead role. The preparation and practices lasted for about two months, and it was definitely a memorable period of my life--meeting new people, getting new experiences, and discovering new things about my self.
The straight play had been staged in different theaters in Cebu for 3 days. It's first day transpired to be a beautiful turning point for me. As I set foot on the platform, I saw the lights turned out, leaving only those needed to illuminate the stage. In a snap, my imagination fired up, and I placed aside who I am to become the character the play asked of me. What a wonderful feeling it was to have a packed audience laugh, cry and clap at a line you just perfectly delivered after weeks of sculpting it. That night, I performed without hesitance, just pure passion--finally brightly lit, after years of being held off.
Up to this day, that night remains to be one of the most magical moments of my life. Yes, the whole production team invested time and effort on practices. However, looking back I believe that one of the reasons why I went all out for a good performance was the lighting. It was displayed in a way that you can barely see the audience. And it honestly made me feel like no one was watching.
That stage play opened doors for other opportunities, but most of all, it opened my eyes to the truth. God blessed me, just like each of you, with gifts but innumerable times, I had chosen not to share them because of fear. I was afraid that people will not find my talent good enough. I thought that by not sharing my gifts, I could keep myself from possible criticisms and judgments.
For the longest time, I had kept my gifts to myself and a small circle, that I have failed to realize certain things. First, that all those times I shied away from using my talents, I had also deprived myself of the chance to enhance them. I could have been a lot better if I kept the passion burning like an unyielding flame. Second, that my talents were given to create joy and inspiration to others.Imagine how many more souls I could have touched through these gifts.If only I had not thought of fear, and shifted the focus from myself- things could have been different...life could have been more meaningful.
I have learned that my talent is not just about me. They were given to me for a purpose. And unless I am using them to improve myself and inspire others, I am not giving the glory back to the One who gave it.
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.”
sharing with you my recent performances.
